


disturbia

by jesimiel



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon-Typical Worms (The Magnus Archives), Character Study, Gen, MAG 26 - A Distortion, anyway im of the opinion that sasha would have snapped at like episode 50 if she lived, canon typical michael and flesh hive murder etc etc. youve heard the episode, unreality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27411004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesimiel/pseuds/jesimiel
Summary: what's your name? what's the date? where have you been today?
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	disturbia

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii lol this is my favorite episode of season 1 and i talk about it all the time.... i'm on tumblr [here](http://jordankennedy.tumblr.com)

your name is ~~not has never been will never be has always been~~ sasha james and the date is ~~never forever all of them~~ april second and you are ~~kneeling~~ standing in the middle of the floor at a pub called the cat’s eye on a street called azalea close in chelsea (or, at least, the building that was once a pub called the cat’s eye on a street called azalea close in chelsea) and you are lightheaded and dizzy and tears that feel thick and globby like in the movies are streaming down your face and you are holding a fire extinguisher and a wallet and inside the wallet is ~~a hundred thousand worms forced into the impossible space wriggling out over your hands and between your fingers and under your skin~~ a driver’s license and when your eyes lose their ~~spiralling unclarity~~ teary blurriness and you can read again you recognize the name on the driver’s license—you ~~see that it is your own~~ recognize the name on the driver’s license, right? you do, you do, luckily, through your brain fog that you attribute half of to the carbon dioxide and half of to michael, you remember the name on the driver’s license, you ~~see the letters shift and writhe like more goddamn _worms_ until they resolve into twisted little coils that make your mind buzz and teeth ache to read~~ remember timothy hodge and jane prentiss and statement zero-one-four-zero-nine-one-two and that woman who exploded into the same worms still poking dead and helpless out of the eye sockets of the man who is ~~reaching out to you with a murky mix of desperation and malice and longing and pain as the song of the hive squirms out of his veins and into yours into _yours_~~ lying dead on the cement three feet away from you here in this building and how listening through the crack in the door to jon recording that statement had grossed tim out so badly he had to skip lunch for a day and your eyes are welling up again because you ~~hear it feel it know it know the itching in your bones why do you _feel_ it~~ are just at that moment registering exactly what is going on and you take a step back and your block heel squishes a handful of dead worms and the fire extinguisher in your hand clatters to the floor as your grip goes slack because there is a _dead body_ at your feet ~~with dark hair like yours olive skin like yours a green jacket like the one shoved in the bottom drawer of your desk this could have been martin this could have been _you_~~ that you are probably at least partially responsible for and then your arm hurts, your arm _hurts_ , and you look to your right and a bit down and ~~your skin is crumbling combed with lesions and holes and writhing creatures of filth bent on nothing but hollowing you out~~ michael is at your side, you recognize that first, and then you realize that its terrible blade-nails are _in_ your fucking shoulder and you _scream_ and it cuts through the awful thick musty silence and michael says nothing, face carefully neutral, does nothing but remove its hand from you and between its too-long too-sharp fingers painted ~~artfully~~ nauseatingly with your blood there is a single

white

worm

and ~~the song you did not realize had been building is gone gone gone~~ you lose it a little bit there, you think, the only reason that you do not shout again even though you desperately want to is because michael walks up behind you (or perhaps it simply appears, or perhaps it was ~~never~~ always there) and lifts its bloody hand over your mouth to keep you quiet so you ~~scream anyway muffled behind its hand as its sharp fingers cut your cheeks and lips~~ do not make a sound as a door that is not there and is not a door and may or may not be yellow opens and then michael is across the room with an expression that looks as though it is steeling itself to swallow something moldy and yes, well, that certainly _is_ one way to get rid of a body, and you just watch, transfixed, as michael leans down and drags ~~the-entity-formerly-known-as~~ timothy hodge through the door by the back of his green jacket and you ~~almost want to _need_ to follow~~ do _not_ want to know where the door goes so you just focus on the bizarre fact that the most human affectation you have ever seen on michael’s face is one where it looks like it is trying not to ~~split its face with the force of its wild grin~~ wrinkle its nose in distaste and then you are ~~still full of the itching~~ alone in the dark in the building that was probably once a pub called the cat’s eye on a street called azalea close in chelsea and you think, abstractly, that you should probably call the police, but aside from the worms still littering the floor and the hole in your shoulder ~~and the song that you swear you swear you can still hear a whisper of deep within your body~~ there is no longer actually any evidence that anything has happened at all and you are still so _dizzy_ and so you leave, you leave, you ~~stay forever and think of what you have done what you have seen what has seen you~~ leave, run back to the institute and the archives and into martin’s arms, and he tells you he will keep you safe and you know that he ~~will never be able to~~ means it with every inch of himself and you ~~spill your guts to the ceaseless watcher that drinks it all in hungrily and mercilessly~~ give your statement to jon who looks about three times as unsettled by the existence of ~~something he cannot observe cannot understand cannot catalogue~~ michael as anything else and so you ~~cannot~~ do not tell him about the way that michael pulling the worm from your shoulder felt like loss and you do not tell him that you took one step ~~two steps three steps four~~ forwards with the intent of following michael through its impossible door and you know that jon is probably not really actually in the business of considering, like, the actual ethics of what is going on right now, which you would appreciate if you could relate at all, so you also do not tell him that you kept ~~the-entity-formerly-known-as~~ timothy hodge’s wallet or that it is currently in your back pocket and you keep running your shaking fingers ~~tracing spirals~~ borderline-obsessively over what might very well be the last proof he existed at all ~~assuming of course that he ever did~~ and thinking and thinking and re-thinking that you actually did kill a man today, someone who had probably maybe had a life or at least enough of one to put a statement in your archives, and today was the first time you have ever even _seen_ a ~~body that was dead before you ever reached it~~ dead body up close and the ~~image lodged into your brain that will never leave it until it is the very last thing you think of when you die three months later in the basement of the magnus institute~~ memory of it is making you wish for the first time ever that you had never stopped working in artifact storage so you swallow all you ~~want to~~ do not say and force yourself to be what you are best which is of course ~~flesh hive red dress green jacket knife hands yellow door head archivist~~ good old reliable level headed sasha james and the date is april second and you have always prided yourself on your sanity but you think you might really and truly be losing 

your 

mind!


End file.
